"Was it ever even possible that a 20' x 5' helium balloon could lift the weight of a six-year-old to 8,000 feet MSL? Let's take a look at some numbers. Taking Falcon Heene's father at his reported word, the balloon that news helicopters followed for two hours Thursday (because they thought Falcon was aboard) was 20 feet by five feet. We don't know if that included the compartment at the bottom -- so let's be conservative and assume it did not."

• Yo momma so fat THX can't even surround her.
• Yo momma so dumb, she went to the dentist and asked for a bluetooth.
• Yo momma so stupid, she thinks the Large Hadron Collider is a gay porn film.
• Yo momma's so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R'lyeh.
• Yo momma so fat she doesn't just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
• Yo momma so old, she's an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionists.
• Yo Momma so fat, even Ralph Lauren's Photoshop team can't help her ass.
• Yo momma so dense she got her own event horizon.
• Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
• Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
• Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
• Yo momma so fat, she bends light.
• Yo momma so big, Google ran out of pixels tryin to Street View her butt.
• Yo mama so fat, Stephen Hawking found three extra dimensions in her panties!
• Yo mama so dumb, she thinks the Lorenz-Fitzgerald contraction is what happened right before she had twins.
• Yo mama so FAT32, NTFS won't even give her permission.
• Yer momma so dumb the Higgs Boson comes back in time to shut her mouth.
• Yo mama so dumb, she thinks steampunk is a buffet item.
• Yo mama so fat that her presence itself distort the space-time tapestry.
• Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is that of the universe.
• Yo mama so fat, she emits Bekenstein-Hawking radiation (at least until she shrinks and dissipates...)
• Your mama's so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
• Yo mama so fat her diet is Hawking Radiation.
• Yo mama so fat she changes the universal constant of gravitation.
• Yo mamma is so massive she has regular interactions with neutrinos.
• Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house she sits around all 10*10*16 multiversal instantiations of the house.
• Yo momma so fat, Han Solo sliced her open with a lasersaber and popped luke inside for warmth.
• Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
• Yo momma so fat, she engirdles the world, and has engendered Ragnorök.
• Yo momma so big and nasty, Al Gore's afraid when she farts it's gonna blow a new hole in the ozone layer.
• Yo momma so big, the Fail Whale sued her in Internet court for unlawful impersonation.
• Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
• Yo momma so fat she doesn't just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
• Yo momma so Pi, she can't be expressed accurately as a fraction.
• Yo momma's so white she thinks Malcolm X is Malcolm the 10th.
• Yo momma's so fat her laptop has a grease trap.
• Your momma's so large, CERN plans to use her to track down the Higgs boson.
• Yo momma's so big Falcon Heene tried to fly away in her.
• Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
• Yo momma so dumb she think encryption is what happens when they bury you.
• Yo momma's so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R'lyeh.
• Yo momma so sleazy, even Valleywag won't link to her.
• Yo momma got such a big head, Ralph Lauren don't even need to photoshop her.
• Yo momma so old, she's an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionist.
• Yo momma so round there's a formula for calculating her volume.
• Yo momma so oily, America's gonna invade her and set up a pipeline contract with Halliburton.
• Yo momma so ugly she made tubgirl run screamin and take a bath.
• Yo momma so dumb she thinks pluto is a planet.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thinks inbound links means eatin up hotdogs.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thinks the Singularity is what happens when you get divorced.
• Yo momma so skanky, not even /b/ would fap to her.
• Yo mama so big, she needs a multi-petabyte RAID array just to store her fat ass.
• Yo momma so dumb, she thought Google was her phone number. And you wonder why she don't call.
• Yo mama so dumb, when you told her your laptop was from Apple, she bit right into it and thought the keys was seeds.
• Yo momma so stupid, when Google Wave, she waved right back.
• Yo momma's so fat, when her iPhone beeps for an incoming txt, people think she's a truck backin' up.
• Yo momma so nasty Keyboard Cat furiously tried to play her off until its paws bled.
• Your mama's so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
• Yo mama so stupid she waited for the Universal Serial Bus.
• Your mama is so fat, she expresses her dress size in scientific notation.
• Your mama is so old, she still has gills in her prom photo.
• Yo momma so fat, the ratio of her circumference to her diameter is four.

0 = super dorky
1 = dorky
2 = average
3 = above average
4 = cool
5 = super cool!

• the higher the pants, the more dorky you are
• pants at waistline level means the person is average
• pants that are super low make you super cool

"Narrator: What's the largest number you can think of ?
Person 1: 100,000
Person 2: 999,000
Person 3: a million!
Narrator: In actual fact it's neither of these. The largest number is about 45 billion, although mathematicians suspect there may be even larger numbers!"

"Narrator: Eight ladies go to eight shops at eight o'clock in the morning. Each lady wants to buy eight spiders. For each spider, eight spider shoes must also be bought. But they only have eight pounds between them. With each spider costing eight pence and each spider shoe costing an eighth pence each, will the ladies have enough change for the bus ride home? A journey costing eight pence per stop and made up of eight stops."

"The Four-Color Theorem (4CT) dates back to 1852, when it was first proposed as a conjecture. Francis Guthrie was trying to color the map of counties in England and observed that four colors were enough. Consequently, he proposed the 4CT. In 1879, Alfred Kempe provided a "proof" for the 4CT. A year later, Peter Tait proposed another proof for 4CT. Interestingly both proofs stood for 11 years before they were proved wrong. Percy Heawood disproved Kempe's proof in 1890, and Julius Petersen showed that Tait's proof was wrong a year later.

However, Kempe's and Tait's proofs, or attempts at a proof, were not fully futile. For instance, Heawood noticed that Kempe's proof can be adapted into a correct proof of a "Five-Color Theorem". There were several attempts at proving the 4CT before it was eventually proved in 1976. See this article by Robin Thomas for a historical perspective of the problem."

• Count the number of jelly beans in a jar
• Calculate the time it takes for a barrel to float down a river

• Shoot a turkey at 50 yard range
• Quickly peel a potato
  

"He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a 'Spanish womn,'" the judge wrote. "He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers."

Chin has experience with big numbers. He's the judge who sentenced Bernard Madoff to a 150-year prison sentence for what the government called a $65 billion Ponzi scheme.

Yet the money Chiscolm wants could dwarf all the bank's other problems. It's larger than a sextillion dollars, or a 1 followed by 21 zeros. Chiscolm's request is equivalent 1 followed by 22 digits. The sum also dwarfs the world's 2008 gross domestic product of $60 trillion, as estimated by the World Bank."

• who live in one of the countries: Canada, United States or China